While our type (on the bell curve) is weary of being false or dishonest, we also must somehow get along outside our personal bubble with those who aren’t as direct or thick skinned as we are, and one of the places we deal with this the most is on the job.
If you as an INTJ-F are working in a job where you are fairly isolated and don’t directly deal with your co-workers (if there are any) or supervisors, you’re lucky because this is ideal for your personality.
For those of us who have the misfortune of having to deal with the typical office dynamic, we cannot exactly keep our heads down and actually work (which we of course are there to do) without having to play at least a small part in the social aspect of things. Generally if we’re looking to actually advance in the field at all, we have to play the game.
Things like not smiling, being too clinical in correspondence, trying to predict what could derail projects and progress and being preventative, being honest about peer/employee competence in the face of project management or budget come as a bend on the nose of people who respond to the lack of warmth as something personal (which to us, doesn’t have anything to do with the job itself).
As females overall, we can sometimes feel that men don’t get this type of scrutiny or inability to advance based on these traits and that in some cases it’s why they get raises and promotions. Is it true? Perhaps. While we’re never looking to attack or insult anyone, we are also not looking to sugar coat our messages when interacting with co-workers, supervisors, subordinates or other staff members where we work.
Non INTJ females may just sweeten up their interactions, smile more, give compliments, etc without questioning this. However we aren’t typically wired that way; this goes against our need to be genuine, and our logical view of these things not having anything to do with what we’re there for. Sure, we can get past this – but not easily.
Recently an INTJ female conversation took place in our midst about a woman who was taken into her boss’ office and told that another co-worker mentioned/or complained that they felt she didn’t like them. The truth is she wasn’t really even aware of this co-worker in her general space on a daily basis, and simply didn’t acknowledge her existence. It wasn’t good or bad, it was a non issue. While there was some laughing about this among MBTI peers on this, it’s a bit unnerving that this can happen in a work environment and cause a boss to address it.
So that the general public can understand, we simply don’t naturally get the connection between syrupy compliments and bubbly personalities with actual tasks being done and career advancement. So we’re not actually being negative or disagreeable on the job, but because we are in such a minority, we are taken that way, as most people are extroverts and a lot more emotionally driven.
This extends to things outside work such as recreational office activities, parties, and lunches and getting together with co-workers for dinner or drinks or hanging out at water coolers and coffee pots. For the most part we don’t feel comfortable with these things nor do we see how they help us do the job we’re doing outside maybe bonding better with people we have to work directly with. We may feel it’s necessary as far as getting a sense of the type of person we’re dealing with for getting things done or projected office politics.
The trick, for most of us in offices full of people is learning to soften what we say without changing it or ourselves being dishonest. Some have mastered this, some are trying to learn how to implement safeguards, some are already doing so and struggle with it, and some flat out refuse to change their delivery. Such is the spectrum of the type.
This is one of the many things we often discuss in our group, and my blog here is based on personal experience and extensive discussion with other females of this type. What’s your take on interoffice survival?
Rare INTJ Females: We Welcome You! 
I’m about a year late to this topic, but throwing my two cents in.
The main challenges I’ve faced at work are 1) issues with authority, 2) lack of company integrity and 3) unwillingness to bend my morals to get ahead or even keep stable employment.
INTJ’s don’t give blind respect to authority; they respect logic and rational processes. Worst case scenario, you’re dealing with bosses who have sociopath traits and abuse power/ will unapologetically step on anyone to climb the corporate ladder. Best case scenario, you’re dealing with incompetent bosses who got promoted because they either slept with someone or are willing to be a ‘good robot’ and relay orders without questioning them; even if said orders are counter-productive to the work being done.
Looking at personal examples of a widely occupied job – call centers – new hires are fed ‘company values’ of integrity, honesty, excellent customer service, and so on. Treat the customer as you would want to be treated. Then we get on the floor and those values go right out the window when we’re spending too much time trying to fix a caller’s issue, given different solutions/ answers to questions depending on which supervisor is asked, and held to performance metrics which are impossible to reach without cheating the customer. Sure, they’re off the phones quicker but with half-ass answers so they’ll just end up having to call back and speak to someone else. This is counter-productive to the process at large. Having the same customer give repeat calls goes against our ‘scores’, but we’re told to rush them off the phones? And apparently I’m the only one in the office who sees the contradiction??? I watch in dismay as all my co-workers play along like blind sheep and end up becoming that customer service rep everyone hates getting when /they/ have to call and yell at the phone company or whatever.
Being INTJ, I tend to ignore irrational process and do what I know is right, which usually results in a dispute with my manager. So I then have to go to /their/ manager for resolution, which either ends up in me being fired in retaliation or not caring enough to show up anymore. And let’s not even talk about the supervisors breaking moral conduct by gossiping about other employees’ personal business. Been fired for calling that one out, too.
Going back even further, my first career love affair was with the music industry, behind the scenes as an artist manager. My goal was to educate singers on where their money goes and how contracts work. It was sickening to see so many talented individuals getting ripped off, when NO one would make $$$ without them. I spent time with a PR firm in Los Angeles with high profile music/ modeling clients, and knew the type of shark pool I was getting into. I knew I’d have to cross enemy lines, learn to swim with the sharks so I could better prepare myself to combat them later. The compromise I was willing to make was turning a blind eye to the lies, deception, and greed going on around me. Where I drew the line was my unwillingness to sleep with anyone to get ahead (and that is literally the only way, not even joking), and my unwillingness to actively participate in screwing someone over. Turned out none of those reputable management/ PR companies would ever want to work with or hire me because I’d end up outing their ill practices to their clients, and it’d be a conflict of interest.
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